Want to hear something crappy? 
💩
I’ve been attempting to potty train Penny for the last few weeks. She will sit on the potty sometimes and 💩 and other times will refuse altogether.
Today, she started to poop in her diaper so I convinced her to sit on her potty. Convincing her usually consists of many bribes and distractions until she finally agrees to sit.
Today’s bribe was a piece of an EnjoyLife chocolate bar.
While she sits I take advantage of this time to bleach a new, blue and yellow, Little Tykes Car 
🚗 we just found at Savers for a steal!
She sat for a few minutes and was ready to get off. I look over and can see the chocolate all over her lips. (I promise it was chocolate!!)
I was still elbow deep in bleach trying to disinfect the little car so I call for SuperDad.
SuperDad comes to the rescue! Penny comes off the potty, daddy cleans her up and puts on a new pull up. He gets up off the floor and walks towards the bathroom to wash his hands.
30 seconds later…..
SuperDad: “OH MY GOD! What is this?!?!”
He runs over to me and shows me his arm… brown mystery substance all over his forearm.
I immediately realize that Penny must have wiped her face on his arm and covered him in chocolate… but he didn’t know that! 
🤣
SuperDad was thinking that he managed to get 💩 on his arm!!!
He begins to freak out and I almost don’t want to tell him! (You know, payback for the stool softener incident)
Of course, being the beautiful, loving, all-forgiving wife that I am, I tell him it’s only chocolate.
You should have seen the look of relief on his face! I’m laughing as he walks away to clean his arm.
I yell out to him:
“You should be used to mystery slime by now! You have a toddler!”
He replies:
“Mystery Slime is one matter… Poop is another.”
For those of you that aren’t parents:
Mystery slime is any unknown substance that you come in contact with that you know came from your child but you just don’t know what it could be.
(Tears, boogers, urine, poop, drool, or a combination of any of the aforementioned bodily fluids)
Nerdy Mom 